Friday, April 19, 2013



Well, yet again I have lost hope in this blog.

OK, not really, but being the extravert that I am I need the encouragement (aka views and comments) to continue, and quite frankly lately I haven't really been getting any. Honestly it's upsetting. I wanted to draw in people from outside my friend's circle and provide honest posts with encouragement. At the beginning of the year that's been happening, but strangely lately it hasn't (I blame Tumblr). Currently I have little hopes for spreading good words to a crowd through Blogger, and I've tried to, but it's not working.

I'd be lying if I said that this blog hasn't caused me grief. Expressing my views despite what my friends thought was something that I knew I could do, but I'm in the wrong place for it. I would look at my friend's blogs, and other blog writers and see how well they are doing, and I suppose that was my driving force at continuing my blog, was making other people happy. However, I knew people weren't reading it much, but I wrote anyway. I wrote and wrote and wrote... Still, I rarely got comments or views. Oh, I'm going to keep writing, but perhaps in a more private way, via journal, AND in my own website, probably Weebly.

So there you have it. This may not be goodbye forever, but it is for now.

Not that anyone's going to see this anyway.

Not being pessimistic, and at least I can say I've tried.

See you later, strangers.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


"I’m not as okay as I like to say 
and this pain is more than they know, 
more than I show."

- Amber Hunter, This Pain 

She was funny, carefree, and wonderful in many ways. I remember walking away from her often wearing a big smile. Sure she wasn't my mom or dad, or a sibling or a best friend, but she still meant a lot to me. 

This week my favorite teacher passed away. She will be thoroughly missed.

However, this post is not a dedication to her. It is a reflection of my own heart. 

As a result of this, old worries have infected me, old sinful habits have been revisited, and pain has been bottled up. I've taken some comfort from listening to music, but it can only distract me for so long. I've been withdrawing myself from family, friends, and classmates, and wasting time in my room for many hours at a time without leaving. I didn't think for a while to call upon the Lord for help. 

After a big fall, I finally did it. I asked God for help. 

I can't tell you the difference it made in my heart. It was a strange but tender sweetness that I have never felt before.

In silent suffering, mourning, stress, and anxiety, that's where God's mercy and love can be felt the strongest. At first, especially when talking about the saints and stuff, I didn't think that their way of suffering would in any way bring me personally closer to Christ. I didn't understand why the joyful can, at times, feel more disconnected to God's sweetness than the ones who weren't. Oh, God is near at all times, people! But sorrow brings forth such a beautiful longing in us that allows us to fully experience God's peace, care, comfort, and unending love. I never thought I would get to feel that. I know that someday it'll happen to me again, maybe perhaps excruciation, but at least I can look forward to the way my spirit feels now, only better. 

Thanks, God. You really are good.

If someone you know is grieving, here is another article that you may find helpful:, so don't worry, we're in this together. 

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Our Hero Setting

Ever notice how many stories are created that involve one person rebelling against the opposing world, thus eventually shifting into some sort of illustrious champion? First they have to do something, anything, to grab the attention of the high-held power figure in order to raise awareness for some good cause. Then one by one they win over the hearts of the masses, drawing them together as a team, and ultimately destroying the evil force, sometimes with "true" love and peace, and so on and so forth. The Hunger Games, Mylo Xyloto, the Dark Knight trilogy, and even MLPFIM are a few modern examples that carry such themes.

If you're like me, you can't get enough of those action packed tales of bravery and justice. You like having someone to edge-on, to get angry at, to cry with, to encourage, to grow with, and even to fall in love with. Even though this character is fiction and cannot actually hear you when you screaming at your book or tv, he/she still creates something in us that feels real.

Jesus was like that. Like the rest of the stories he was just an ordinary guy who was destined to revolt the ways of the world, knowing that he would get love and support from his fans, and then executed by his own people. Jesus says we need to be like him.

We look at other characters such as Harry Potter, Thor, Finn, and Lara Croft and think, man, do I wish I could do what they can do. If anything, these characters are completely unrealistic. What fiction stories tend to get right is how terrible the world is. No, we all haven't become mindless robots serving a big fat man who electrocutes us every time we say something he doesn't like, but we do have a complex system that tries to shut down our morals, blot out truth, and make our selfish desires seem like the right thing to do. If we, the ordinary human beings, choose to take a stand against such foolishness, we are not likely to succeed by having everyone cheering for us. We could inspire people by the thousands, we could influence many to turn away, we could take over the world with smiles and unicorns. Quite the contrary, it is likely that people will hate you, tear you down, and do horrible things to you. It could happen. Persecution is to be expected, after all. This is why everyone is so scared to fight, because of what everyone else might think, say, or do that could hurt them. But please, ladies and germs:

What are you so scared of?

Are people really all that intimidating? Is this going to matter a week from now? Is God's protection just not good enough?

No. No. No.

Whatever it will look like for you to be a hero? Well, that's for God to decide. Don't be scared. Answer the call today.

Monday, April 8, 2013

What Everyone's Problem Is

Ahhhh, it's Spring.... the flowers are blooming, the birds are singing, the sun is shining, and people are still screwed up. We all should hopefully know the overall situation with the human race right now: war, lust, lies, wasteful money, poverty, the fame game, government corruption, and sinful activity of the like. It's so tempting to think, "If only there were love... If only there were peace... If only Nickelback would quit making music..."

So what's wrong with thinking that? First of all, we oftentimes long for "good" in the world but have our own personalized version of what that should look like floating around in our head. Our own thoughts can be very misleading because things like feelings, selfishness, desires, and opinions get in the way. Our idea of a better world is usually clouded by the idea that whatever the world should be should benefit us.

Admit it. You do that. Hey, I do that! Who doesn't? Anyway, what's the real issue with the world? You. Really. Our mistake is pointing our fingers to the world, as if we've got nothing to be blamed for. And the convenience of being alive is that it's never too late to start allowing change to take place. In the end, when you're dead and being judged by the hosts of Heaven, they're going to look at you, what you've done, not what you thought of the world.

Anne Frank who, as you hopefully know, was a young Jewish girl who died in a concentration camp (a.k.a. Hell on earth) in the year 1945. Her life was horrible, and she said of the most amazing things ever. One of them being:

"People will always follow a good example; be the one to set a good example, then it won't be long before the others follow... How lovely to think that no one need wait a moment, we can start now, start slowly changing the world! How lovely that everyone, great and small, can make their contribution toward introducing justice straightaway..."

You see, our example is contagious. Also, what's inside our hearts shows in our behavior and everyday choices. That's why if we're joyful and pure on the inside, the world will see that part of you.
The choice is yours. 
How you react to the terrors of planet Earth is really up to you. You can choose not to fall into despair, not to be unkind to others or yourself, not to be a slave, not to become some kind of emotionless and desensitized robot... to turn towards God, the perfecter of beauty... it's all on you. Liberty can be yours, depending on how you translate it.

"For freedom, Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery. For you were called for freedom, brothers. But do not use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh; rather, serve one another through love." Go do it!

(Galatians 5 verses 1 and 13)

It's like what MJ says, "If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change." Go do it! Nobody's stopping you unless you let them.

Teal Moustache